Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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