awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
