If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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