I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
