He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
