its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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