i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
