I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
