he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I cut my penus on the lid.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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