Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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