I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
