Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
