we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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