I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
