I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
They have beer where we have blood.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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