Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
