So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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