We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
