what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
