yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
