He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's shark week go big or go home
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
