I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
