Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
