So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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