Well apparently he's into motor boating.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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