Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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