I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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