yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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