Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
