They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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