i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize