I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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