hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
my poor anus
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
