I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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