I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize