Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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