What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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