So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
