We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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