Apparently you make a good broom.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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