my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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