is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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