I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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