So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
