It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
