the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
