Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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