U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
