...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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