did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
