This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize