Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
honey bunches of taint.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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