It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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