Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
