Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
