I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
