Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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