im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
