So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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