My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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