She's JV to your varsity
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
