pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
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