nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
