i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize