okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
