i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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