Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
